john,
without hearing you, it is hard to know exactly what is going on however, it could be that you may be listening to yourself too much while you are singing as opposed to thinking about what you are doing. sound is the result of an action and, although it is almost undiscernably behind, it is behind nonetheless.
singing is an action. in doing an action we are very aware of what we are presently doing at a given moment. even more so, we are most aware of what we are about to do. this places our attention on what has not happened yet rather than what we have already done. in other words, to make analogy to driving a car, it is better to look out the front window to see where you are going than to look out the back window to see who that was you just hit.
as you have already said yourself, when you are singing louder and higher and in a generally more dynamic mode, your vibrato increases. i would suggest you think of singing phrases and to think ahead rather than being quite so 'anal' about what you are hearing. you can always use a tape recorder to judge the quality or your results after you're done singing.
mike
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