| | From: "Rocio Guitard" <rocioguitard@h...>
Date: Mon Apr 17, 2000 10:37 pm
Subject: Music Funnies
|
Something to smile about :o)
Rocio Guitard
Speech Level Singing Instructor
>
> > SUPPOSEDLY ACTUAL ANSWERS FROM STUDENTS ON MUSIC
> > EXAMS
> >
> > The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was
> > called pre-Madonna.
> >
> > It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just
> > grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
> >
> > Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing
> > the
> > same lines.
> >
> > Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
> >
> > At one time singers had to use musicians to
> > accompany
> > them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now
> > play themselves.
> >
> > All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't
> > know
> > exactly what they sounded like because there are no
> > known descendants.
> >
> > Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the
> > Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's
> > Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and
> > Gershwin's
> > Rap City in Blue.
> >
> > Music sung by two people at the same time is called
> > a
> > duel; if they sing without music it is called
> > Acapulco.
> >
> > A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
> >
> > Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies
> > sing.
> >
> > Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
> >
> > Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one
> > between
> > the Hatfields and the McCoys.
> >
> > A harp is a nude piano.
> >
> > The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is
> > too
> > tangled up.
> >
> > An interval in music is the distance from one piano
> > to
> > the next.
> >
> > The correct way to find the key to a piece of music
> > is
> > to use a pitchfork.
> >
> > Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips
> > in
> > the middle of playing a piece.
> >
> > Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the
> > part you'd better not try to sing.
> >
> > I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.
> >
> > Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was
> > written long ago.
> >
> > My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a
> > woman composer famous for her church music.
> >
> > Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people
> > have ever heard of.
> >
> > Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical
> > compositions and had a large number of children. In
> > between he practiced on an old spinster which he
> > kept
> > up in his attic.
> >
> > Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer
> > of piano concerti.
> >
>
> __________________________________________________
>
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