| We are having a church wedding.
Then your church Music Director will be the one who plans your music with you. Churches vary wildly as to what is and what is not "allowed". We also hopefully explain the reasoning behind what is and isn't allowed in a way that shows empathy and understanding for the couple's desire to choose the music that *they* love.
Speaking from my area, the Roman Cathlolic wedding rite is modelled after Sunday Mass. The participation of the community is favored over solo singing. Although I am a professional singer, I do not encourage a lot of vocal solos at weddings, especially as guests are being seated. I want them to greet one another, not sit back and listen to me sing. Instead the organist or an instrumentalist plays.
Liturgical music I typically encourage include hymns such as "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee", "Lord of All Hopefulness", "Love Divine All Loves Excelling", "God Is Love", "Taste and See" and others. We include a sung Psalm, just like on Sunday, and it's sung by a cantor from the ambo, just like on Sunday, and the assembly is encouraged and invited to sing, just like on Sunday. I use Ps. 128 (Blest are those who love you, happy those who follow you) and any others emphasizing joy and felicity like Ps. 50 ("This is the day the Lord has made").
Some solo songs I do at extra-special moments: One Hand, One Heart (which emphasizes God's gift of eternal life through Christ e.g. "even death can't part us now"); any setting of the Song of Ruth, especially the M.D. Callahan ("where you go, I shall go"); the ever-pop. Ave Maria (Schubert.. the Gounod is too dramatic and draws attention to itself and the voice), Mozart's "Laudate Dominum", Franck "Panis Angelicus", Schumann "Du Ring on meinem Finger", or other classical works. I sing the Peter Paul and Mary song if the couple just MUST have it (but I hate it) and really de-emphasize other pop songs, suggesting that they work better for cocktail hour at the reception than for their ceremony.
As to a bride singing at her own wedding. Well, don't hate me, but I would discourage it in the most strenuous possible way. Speaking only from my own area of expertise, which is the Catholic liturgy, there isn't a place for the bride to get up and sing without bringing the ceremony to a grinding halt. Plus, your wedding is not the time to worry about singing well, voice support, mic technique, and all the other stuff that you have to do as a singer. Imagine trying to light your Unity Candle while balancing a microphone in your hand. Yuck. And until your wedding day, you can't begin to know how it will feel. It will be 100 times more emotional than you think it will. BTDT!
So, just as I advise Uncle Jim to sing "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" at the wake, not the funeral, I'd advise a young couple to sing to each other at the reception, not in the church.
My 2c.
Carol Spradling Director of Music, St. Augustine's, Diocese of Syracuse
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