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From:  "Caio Rossi" <caioross@z...>
"Caio Rossi" <caioross@z...>
Date:  Sat Jan 13, 2001  7:41 am
Subject:  Re: [vocalist]OFF: Funny headlines Was - The weakest point?



> I must add the headline from my college town newspaper in Macomb,
Illinois.
> When love found two young people from the towns of Normal and Oblong, the
> banns were posted thusly:
>
> "Normal Girl Marries Oblong Boy"

How about these, from "Anguished English', by Richard Lederer:

DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING

DEFENDANT'S SPEECH ENDS IN LONG SENTENCE

WILLIAM KELLY, 87, WAS FED SECRETARY

MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER

S. FLORIDA ILLEGAL ALIENS CUT IN HALF BY NEW LAW

QUATER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS

CARRIBEAN ISLANDS DRIFT TO LEFT

IRAQUI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

NEW AUTOS TO HIT 5 MILLION

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PLANNED PARENTHOOD LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS

CAUSE OF AIDS FOUND- SCIENTISTS

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

DR. RUTH TO TALK ABOUT SEX WITH NEWSPAPER EDITORS

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

----------

And these are saying what's obvious:

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

SMOKERS ARE PRODUCTIVE, BUT DEATH CUTS EFFICIENCY

CHILD'S DEATH RUINS COUPLE'S HOLIDAY

BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN'T SEEN IN YEARS

MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN

ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELINGS OF ISOLATION

bye,

Caio Rossi


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