Ah, I can't pass this up. It's the grand-daddy of em all.
"Theophilus thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve full
of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles into the thick of his
thumb.
If Theophilus thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve of
unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles into the thick of his thumb,
see that thou, while sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust not three
thousand thistles into the thick of thy thumb.
Success to the successful thistle sifter."
We had to recite this as quickly as possible and correctly, before going on the
concert stage. Not only was it a hoot listening to the newbies try to say it,
it was a fast way to loosen our lips and tongue. For starters, try just the
last line and try not to say sissle thifter.
Several years later in an extremely large Salt Lake City chorus, we recited this
little tale prior to a major sing.
"The Parable of the Prodigal Son in F (The Final Fixing of the Foolish
Fugitive)
Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled
his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign
fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather
friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he
found himself a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled
his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.
'Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier,' the frazzled fugitive fumed
feverishly, frankly facing fact.
Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family.
Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. 'Father, I have flunked
and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . .'
But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his
flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.
But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields
for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury
flashed, but fussing was futile.
His foresighted father figured, 'Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids
fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare
flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten
and folly forsaken.'
Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."
--
Dean FH Macy, Lit.D./Mus.D.
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"Making children do something they don't want to do is the job of the parents.
If that doesn't work, there are always juvenile detention centers." - Mike R.
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