Lea Ann wrote:
<<Sooooo I may indeed take the low road and just say that I have been hired for a new job and will be working during the week and can no longer attend or something like that...I think even if I were honest with her about WHY I no longer wanted to take from her she wouldn't care. >>
But what if it gets back to her that this isn't true, that you're studying with someone else? I never advise lying. Rather, find a truth to tell that you're comfortable with, and say it politely and tactfully. If the response is negative, it doesn't reflect on you, but on the person BEING negative.
This would also be good practice for you in future situations where you have to talk about something difficult but which you know has to be discussed. Like if you have kids! Believe me, the more practice you can give yourself in conducting these types of discussions, the easier it will be for you in the future. And really, there's no down side to this one. This isn't your boss or a family member or even a friend. I find in preparing for a difficult discussion, it helps to mentally run through the conversation many times, over several days, imagining what the other person might say and then how I'd respond. This makes the actual conversation much, much easier.
I'm glad the lesson with your new teacher went so well. If you deal honestly, yet tactfully with your other teacher (not yet former, since she doesn't know yet she's been fired), I think you'll be glad you did, because it will give you a tremendous sense of accomplishment and personal strength that you had the ability and courage to go through with it!
That's my opinion, but it's based on LOTS of experience in a large workplace, with many different types of personalities. A month or so ago, I had to talk face-to-face, outnumbered, with union representatives who had concerns about an employee being fired and I had to answer their questions and challenges. And admit to the mistakes that other HR folks had made in the past involving the employee, but explain why the action being taken was still proper and legal. If I or the manager who was with me had faked it the least bit, the union reps would have sniffed it out, and the manager and I would have been chewed up and spit out. But the union guys knew that the manager and I were being honest and straight and polite, as we always are. Even though they didn't like the outcome, as the manager didn't back down on the decision to fire the employee for unacceptable job performance and conduct, I survived to deal with them another day, as my job requires me to do. With my credibility and integrity (and pride) intact. (Though I was very glad this meeting was on a Friday afternoon and I had the whole weekend to recover!)
I'll leave with one more thought. If you don't tell the old teacher a truth, doesn't that say to her that you're ashamed of your decision? That you value her opinion over your own? That you're afraid of her? Why give her that power over you? In my opinion, doing the difficult thing now will prevent a lot of grief in the future. You can do it!!!
Sermon over!!!
Peggy
-- Margaret Harrison, Alexandria, Virginia, USA "Music for a While Shall All Your Cares Beguile" mailto:peggyh@i...
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