Virginija Bruozis Muliolis wrote:
> Isn't it funny how some explanations "click" for some and not for others.. > hence the reason for my original posting. It became apparent that she was > working really hard to "get" the concepts and being disappointed when she > wasn't successful- the dreaded cycle of self-sabotage.
Margaret wrote: This is something I can relate to. But I wouldn't call failure to relate to verbal concepts "self-sabotage", since there's nothing intentional about it.
I totally agree, and you're right in your observation - but perhaps I wasn't very clear in the way I meant it in this context. I meant "self-sabotage" in this way: the self-fulfilling prophesy of failure even before beginning, and attempting the task. Hey, as performers- we all suffer from it to varying degrees (which one of us hasn't experienced those nagging, pesky voices of self-doubt from time to time)- some more than others, but eventually, over time we all learn to overcome them through positive experiences and learn a lot about ourselves in the process. However, if you tell yourself from the get-go that you can't do something AND continue to do so, chances are pretty good that that's exactly what'll happen. Result: a not very satisfactory outcome... you beat yourself up, and on it goes because you didn't really allow yourself that opportunity TO be successful in your task. It's that insurmountable mental hurdle and the belief that you CANNOT do it- (the irrational fear, for whatever reason... and there are many!) that then influences and translates itself into one's physical reactions (mostly tension) and prevents one's progress.... and in this case, it really has developed into a vicious cycle. This is one of the things, besides vocal technique that we'll be working on to improve.
I'm reminded of Karen's post re: the search for the right teacher FOR YOU, and others who have echoed the same- it's so important to find someone who can work with YOU, having some understanding a "singer's" psyche in addition to having great insight to all that "good stuff" that attracts us vocally ( not saying that a PhD in psychology is necessary, but probably wouldn't hurt! hee-hee :)), but the motives and dedication of a teacher whose knee-jerk, automatic response to a student's difficulty with a technical concept is "well, just practice more!!" do need to be questioned. Run, don't walk away.
Just some thoughts.
Virginia
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