First, I am so sorry that you bombed and feel humiliated. I know how painful it can feel. Just want to say that up front, 'cause when I bomb, I want someone to pat my head while I lick my wounds. :) I loved Karen's advice about allowing yourself to obsess for a DEFINED period of time. Because we can't not think about it.
Recently I thought I bombed, and a friend gave me a recording of my performance. To my surprise, the song I thought I bombed on was, well, kind-of bearable. Then came the second song, the one I thought I knew. What a Shock! I was so bad-off-pitch, off-rhythm, truly howling-cat TERRIBLE. I kept thinking, oh my how will I ever face these people again?
I went to my next lesson very despondent. Told my teacher what happened. He said, ok, let's see if we can put Humpty together again. At lesson end, he said he had something for me to listen to...a treat I had earned. He proceeded to play Florence Foster-Jenkins' Queen of the Night aria (if you haven't heard it, it's truly terrible.) He congratulated me on having achieved a new level as a singer. I ended up rolling on the floor laughing so hard it hurt. And I reframed my outlook on my own personal bombing-I mean, for me personally, having been THAT bad is hilarious and liberating. From here out I can honestly say, "Hey, at least I'll probably never be THAT bad again!" And even if I am, I know I'll survive it.
My teacher told me something very important. Everyone bombs, even the really great ones, that part doesn't matter. What matters is how far back you let it set you. The people who can't put it behind them don't make it. The people who can, do. As for reflecting on my experience, could I have done something different or been better prepared? Probably not, for whatever reason, I was destined to bomb ( I chalk it up to planatery mis-alignment). Since then I have adopted as a motto a saying I've heard attributed to Ms. Foster-Jenkins...Some may say I couldn't sing, but they'll never say I DIDN'T sing.
Hope you are back on your musical feet soon, Sandra, who just bombed again the other night by singing a song an entire octave higher than she was supposed to :)
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