1) Allow yourself to obsess for 36 more hours. Not a minute longer or
shorter.
2) Strategize how to avoid a "repeat performance". I've found that I can
take the edge off the worst adrenaline-induced anxiety by "pre-panicking"
= about 20 minutes before I know I'm going to have to sing, I start
obsessing and obsessing in a major way, to the point where I'm sweating,
palpitating, dry mouthed, etc. I keep up the self-indulgent obsession
until I feel my body start to "come down" from the adrenalin rush. Then I
go into "deep breathing and relaxation" mode, combined with an "I don't
give a s**t" attitude. The result: when I actually have to get up to sing,
there isn't enough adrenalin left in my system to cause anything but a
slight energetic "edge" that I'm able to use to my advantage. Another
strategy: I audition only with music I truly could do in my sleep - I
NEVER use music about which I have the slightest technical concern, lyrics
concern, or musical concern ON THE DAY I'M AUDITIONING. (Of course, there
may be days on which the same aria is "just fine" or "not possible",
depending on things like "time of month", work-related stress, mistrust of
the quality of the accompanist provided, etc.) NEVER "test" new music in
an audition (or other high-stress situation). Do the piece in
recital, concert, at a piano bar, during concerts in nursing
homes, at restaurant opera nights, or at any other low-stress public
venue you can think of, to get several public "airings" under your belt
before taking the piece into a high-stress situation like an audition or
competition.
3) Talk to your teacher IMMEDIATELY about what happened. If he/she is one
iota less than totally supportive and sympathetic, get a new teacher.
4) THank your lucky stars that you didn't really care out the outcome of
this particular audition. Indeed, your "failure" may have been a
subconscious attempt to avoid having to accept a job you really didn't
want.
5) Remind yourself frequently and repeatedly about WHY you want to sing
solos in public in the first place. If it's for ANY reason other than "I
love to do it", I suggest you give some serious thought to pursuing
choral/ensemble singing. There is absolutely no justification for putting
one's self through the effort and potentially ego-crushing torment of solo
singing unless one really loves to do it.
KM
............................
NEIL SHICOFF pages
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/shicoff/shicoff.html
My Own Website
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/index.html
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+ To hell with life as snug as hand in glove. +
+ - Ho Xuan Huong +
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