My previous voice teacher and I parted ways on rather unpleasant terms
after 6 1/2 years (I had hit a brick wall technically, and she was going
through some major emotional/personal problems that I was unaware of at
the time; the upshot was, without warning at the start of one lesson she
told me she felt it was time for us to part ways, because - as she put it
- I was unable to learn anything more.
Well, it turns out that she was half right: it WAS clearly time for us to
part ways. Because I had reached the point where SHE was unable to teach
me anything more. Since then, I've been working with a new teacher and
have made VAST strides, one breakthrough after another solving problems
that were like brick walls when I was with my old teacher.
Another interesting episode a couple months ago. I ran into my old
teacher after not seeing or hearing from her for over a year. She made the
comment that she was genuinely pleased to discover that I hadn't given up
singing.
I thought about that for a moment. What the hell did she think? That
because I was no longer studying with HER, there was no chance that I
could possibly learn from someone else? (She knew I had started working
with another teacher just after leaving her, because another student of
hers and I did a joint recital a couple months after that, and my old
teacher MET my current teacher there.) Even more bizarre is that she made
this comment after having had me work for 6 1/2 *committed* years with her
before we parted ways.
Again, I realize this little "dig" at me came at another
emotionally/personally bad time for my ex-teacher (her ex-husband had just
died very prematurely). But it does make me wonder about what really goes
on in the minds of our teachers sometimes. Are they really telling us the
truth, or are they encouraging us while not really believing in us,
because they need the income we represent?
I've actually reached a point I do not trust compliments from anyone I
know (except for my mother, who - in the way of mothers - can be my most
brutal critic...for my own good, of course), and least of all from my
teachers and coaches. Their negative criticisms I trust. But I have enough
self-doubt, I suppose, or enough lack of faith in human nature, to suspect
the motives of compliments. If a stranger compliments me after a
performance, I'm far more likely to trust that compliment - because a
stranger has no need for a hidden agenda: a stranger can just as easily
say nothing than to go out of his/her way to approach and compliment me.
I just wish I could have equal faith in the people I should be able to
trust most of all when it comes to telling me about my voice and singing:
my teacher and coaches. But I can't. Though I have to admit, I do trust my
current teacher much more than I did my last one, in large part because my
last teacher had a lot of students who, frankly, were bad singers - they
loved to sing, but technically, despite studying with her for year after
year, they seemed never to make much (if any) technical progress. And yet,
she encouraged them. Oh, she had a handful of good students, too, but even
they seemed to make only small, gradual progress year after year. Based on
the fact that I was getting roles in operas, operettas, and musicals, I
figured I was probably in the latter category, not the former - but
regardless, the fact that my teacher was so encouraging to people who
really were not benefiting much from her tutelage made me (understandably,
I think) suspicious of her honesty with me, when it came to compliments
and encouragement.
My current teacher, by contrast, has no "deadwood" in her studio (I've
heard virtually all of her students). A number of her students are
notably more polished than I am technically. To me, this is a good sign:
it means that her teaching is working not just for me, but for all her
students. And for this reason, I feel I can trust her judgments - even
when they are POSITIVE - much more than I could my ex-teacher's.
I'm not sure what all this is meant to illustrate. Just a bit of stream of
consciousness triggered by the original subject, which is why people give
up studying/singing after leaving a particular teacher. I suppose had I
been the person my former teacher THOUGHT I was, I would indeed have
justified her lack of faith in my commitment to singing. I would indeed
have quit.
It feels good to have been so misjudged that particular person, I must
say.
Karen
............................
NEIL SHICOFF, TENORE SUPREMO
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/shicoff/shicoff.html
My Own Website
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/index.html
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+ I sing hymns with my spirit, +
+ but I also sing hymns with my mind. +
+ - 1 Corinthians 14:15 +
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