Date sent: Tue, 14 Dec 1999 23:09:35 EST
Subject: Re: before I give it all up
To: vocalist
Send reply to: VOCALIST <vocalist>

Dear Molly,
I've read everyone's response to your dilemma and it's all good. I
just want to share my perspective as a student with you. As far as teachers
are concerned you have to remember they aren't God (although some think they
are). When I started taking lessons at age 15 I had spent two years trying
to find a voice teacher and when I found one I was overjoyed..... so
overjoyed that I did not confront his unprofessional behavior. Sometimes as
students we fear or feel uneasy about confronting a teacher who is doing
something we know isn't right. For example this teacher scheduled a lesson
with me once and left me out in 30 degree weather for 45 minutes. When he
finally showed up from eating and drinking at a bar his eyes opened up as if
he had seen a ghost... His response was "Oh did we have a lesson tonight?"
Then when we got inside the house he went to his appointment book and said
"Yeah. It's written right here." He did it a second time and I finally left
his studio. On top of that one day he just said I've sold my house, you'll
have to find a new teacher... and he had no clue who to refer me to for
lessons. I wasted almost 2yrs. with this man. I moved on to my second
teacher.... she locked me out of the music room b/c she forgot we had a
lesson and she became so wrapped up in writing her doctorate thesis. Then I
couldn't contact her for over a month b/c she had her cell phone disconnected
and finally at our last lesson she didn't show up. She went shopping as her
father told me on the phone. With these two teachers I never questioned
their authority or how they were teaching me. When I finally found my
current teacher my voice was shot. I missed out on 3yrs. of good musical
training b/c I didn't listen to my gut and confront these teachers. Now w/
my new teacher I've had to start all over again and it'll be a year before I
get somewhere. Now I analyze my voice with my teacher, ask questions, and ask
why I'm doing this or that vocal exercise and she doesn't get mad at me at
all. As a matter of fact it shows her that I'm actively participating in my
quest for an operatic career. Remember YOU ARE PAYING them to provide a
service and you have every right to demand that they act professionally and
correct you and give you CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. Any teacher who is into
belittling or tearing you apart just b/c you're not 100% once in a while does
not have your best interest at heart and not showing up or canceling on a
regular basis is a clear indicator of how this teacher views and values you
as a student and your time. For 3 months now I've been debating about
whether or not to give up b/c I'm so behind that I will not be able to get a
degree in music in 4yrs. I made the decision to stick in there and fight for
a successful career in opera because I know in my heart it is my passion,
desire, and I would shrivel up and die if I couldn't do it. It's going to be
extremely difficult b/c I have to find classes that give me the training I
need outside of my university b/c they're only open to music majors. If you
want a back up major look into foreign languages, it'll only compliment your
music major and if you decide music isn't what you want you'll have a degree
in something that can make you a decent living, hence I'm officially a
"Romance Languages" major. If you decide not to pursue music as a career let
it be b/c you don't want to not b/c you encounter a lot of jerks and
naysayers who don't like your voice or something superficial. For every
person whose voice is disliked there are 5 people who love it. (Can we say
Maria Callas!) or vice versa (Anyone thinking Cecilia Bartoli... I can
listen, I can't watch.) Every night I pull out my Denyce Graves CD, listen
to it and say I can and will do that. Heck, I might even be better
eventually... no offense Denyce.... you're my favourite singer. ( I just had
to throw in that hokey part, but this is my story and I'm sticking to it. ) I
wish you much luck... Hey we'll probably call each other from La Scala or the
Met and laugh about this. Again, I wish you much success and hang in there!


Alia